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Jokes, Jokes, we MUST HAVE JOKES! PLEASE TELL!

PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:04 am
Author: Emmunah
Okay so far we have "a donkey's ass will never be an eggplant". Which I too think is funny....just because of the way roller rebwar says it.

Then we have this sad article today. We must prove this isn't true. If laughter dies, all is lost:

Latest casualties in Iraq: Ethnic jokes
Wed Mar 23, 4:12 PM ET

Top Stories - Knight Ridder Newspapers

By Hannah Allam, Knight Ridder Newspapers

BAGHDAD, Iraq (news - web sites) - Nazar Joudi misses the days when laughter echoed through the musty alleyway where he and his friends - cobblers, goldsmiths and tailors - told vivid jokes to escape the war.

Their tales of dimwitted Shiite Muslims, unlucky Kurds and hapless Sunni Muslim tribesmen enlivened a dark corner of a Baghdad marketplace and nurtured an oral tradition found throughout the Arab world. Puffing cheap cigarettes and slurping tiny cups of tea, the men would laugh until tears streamed down their haggard faces.

But after Iraq's Jan. 30 parliamentary elections, Joudi noticed that divisions were emerging among his old friends. Shiites sided with Shiites, Kurdish barbs took on a sharper edge and everything offended the Sunnis. Ethnic and religious jokes lost their humor, Joudi said with sadness, so the men stopped coming and the ritual died.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 2:10 pm
Author: dyaoko
Okay so far we have "a donkey's ass will never be an eggplant". Which I too think is funny....just because of the way roller rebwar says it.

it isnt ass ...it is the other private one .
and about that article i think the writer is wrong, as far as i know new generation of kurds in iraq cant speak arabic so cant have arab freinds...
we should ask kurdo, that if there was any good connection between arabs and kurds before the ellection or not...
as far as I know saddam has killed handreds od thousens of the Kurds...
to kill handreds of thousands of Kurds , saddam needed some millions of arab soldiers...saddam didnt do it alone he had his so called "Hero" arab nation

whatever... in iran we have diffrent types of jokes
- Jokes about Turks . (usauly Turk in Iranian joke means foolish or Donkey)

- Jokes about Qazvini Turks : Turks in Qazvin City are Gay. in Jokes. in these kind of jokes the men of Qazvin City ,always seek a Persian LadyBoy or (child) to XXX...

- Jokes about Rashti(Northern Iranians): whenver you see one day a Rashti ..it means one day a man who dont care abuot his woman
and let the other men to have X with her , rashtis in jokes are their women's slave.

- arabs in iranian jokes, arabs are famous their long ...(the Private Part of Man) ...

- Kurds In iraninan Jokes, kurds usauly are not in the jokes but ...
Kurds in the jokes are persons that always dance , dance too much..and can be fooled for dancing.

now hear an Irani Joke about kurds:
one day some men steal an airoplane in the airport...
they talk too much with them...but it is useless they want to kill all of the pessengers if they dont be paid..
finailly a famous psycologist comes and talks to them and by their accent in farsi , he founds out that they are kurd...
the famous doctor asks the "Kak Barat " (a famous Kurdish Drammer) ...to come and play some music...and suddenly all of the kurd theifs , come out of the aireoplane while dancing and holding each other's hand ha ha...

PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 6:31 pm
Author: dyaoko
Qazvini Turk Joke :

one day a Qazvini Turks , goes to a rich house at night , and steals 400 million dolors...after som days the Qazvini Turk calls the Rich Houes ...

and say

"if you want to see your 400 million dolor , send me your child..."

ha ha !

PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 6:11 pm
Author: Emmunah
Medya :D What's the word for the Donkey "private" part LOL?

Okay, here is another Jewish joke about our "condition in life".



A Jewish man was riding on the subway reading a Middle East Arabic newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. He approached the newspaper reader friend and said, "Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arabic newspaper?" Moshe replied: "I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted worldwide , Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to the Arabic newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!". :lol: :lol: :lol:

PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:35 pm
Author: dyaoko
well nobody has joined to our discussion...no matter...let contnue our jokes

Medya What's the word for the Donkey "private" part LOL

no I wont tell you...you shouldnt learn it, it is 24+ word. :D


one day a rashti goes to a carpenter , and says

Mr Asghar , Please make a wardrobe for me that my nieghbour Ahmad doesnt be in it...

PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:42 pm
Author: dyaoko
well ok dont cry, I tell you the word for Donkey's Male Private ...

it is Guun ...(Gun is just for Child -Child human or Child Donkey... )

here is another rashti joke .

one night a rashti in bed with his wife , fels that somebody else is in their bed ...he stands up from the bed and turns a small light on and counts the number of the legs on the bed....
and says :
let me see 1-2 -3-4 ...no I was wrong 2 foot belongs to me and 2 foot belongs to my wife

PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2005 4:47 am
Author: Guest
:lol: :lol: That's funny. You know I spend a lot of time with the English language school, and all of the students from around the world come from every country. I go to some of their events. So, anyone one day a Brazilian girl and a Turkish girl were standing next to me and talking in 'okay' English, but they said "I haven't seen one yet" and they both blushed and the other girl said, "I haven't either, maybe they are in the city only". So, I asked, "what havent' you seen?" They whispered "a homosexual". I started laughing and told them, "of course you have" and then I had to tell them that about 5% of the people they had met were gay, but they act like normal people, so you would not know. So the Turkish girl explains to me that in Turkey the gay men dress like women and wear make-up. Then they started looking around the room to see if they could find anyone that MIGHT be gay. It was really funny but I guess you had to be there.

Thanks for the +24 word Medya LOL!...now I know a good curse word.

Here is another joke that people might be able to related to:

Back when Israel's economy was in a bad way, inflation was getting higher and immigrants were flooding in from all over the world. Problems, problems, problems, but what should they do?

So the Knesset holds a special session to come up with a solution.
After several hours of talk without progress one member, Yitzhak, stands up and says "Quiet everyone, I've got it, I've got the solution to all our problems. We'll declare war on the United States." Everyone starts shouting at once. "You're nuts! That's crazy!" "Hear me out!" says Yitzhak. "We declare war. We lose. The United States does what she always does when she defeats a country. She rebuilds everything; our highways, airports, shipping ports, schools, hospitals, factories, and loans us money, and sends us food aid. Our problems would be over.

"Sure," says Benny, another minister, "that's if we lose. But what if we win?"

PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2005 6:06 pm
Author: dyaoko
emmunnah ,...so funny .. I jumped like a doney ...when I read your joke .


now hear this joke about iranian leader, you know iranian leader ayatollah khameneyee has one hand (he has lost one of his hands in an attack)...whatever about 8 years ago , by his order , many writer and poltician been killed in their houses....but he never admitted it.
that crime is been knwon as "chain killing of writers"

one day , an iranian been asked "do you know who killed those writers?"

the iranian answers in fear" no no i dont know who ...but whoever has done it, i ask god to cut his other hand too..."

PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 11:02 am
Author: Guest
Here's one:
One day Bush visited Turkey to see Erdogan. So Erdogan wanted to give him a warm welcome. He went out with Bush to show him how beautifull Ankara was. So after Bush saw enough of houses and flats, he told Erdogan: "Wow, all these houses are all incredible ugly''. Erdogan replied: "Oh yeah??! Well, wait till I come to the USA one time, I'm certain I will see a lot of ugly houses there too". Bush: I don't mind, you can come whenever you want."
So a month later Erdogan went to the US and met Bush in Washington. Bush: "So Erdogan, when do you want to go to see the ugly houses here?"
Erdogan: "What about now, I can't wait!" So Bush and Erdgan went outside to discover the American houses. So they went searching for hours, Erdogan almost gave it up but then....Erdogan: "Yeah! There's a very ugly house over there Bush, you see it!" Bush's reaction: "Hahaha you stupid Turk, that's the Turkish embassy". :lol:

PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 11:03 am
Author: Raz
^^^^^^ ME!

ha ha ...

PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 2:42 pm
Author: admin
what a nice joke about foolish turks

PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:40 am
Author: Emmunah
OOOOHHHHH! I bet Erdogan would not like that joke :D :D

Hey, you know Medya, the jokes about Kurds dancing. It has just enough truth to be funny :lol: When we all went to Newroz, it started by an hour of presentation on Anfal. Then we ate. Then we danced for hours. What other group of people on earth would have a presentation about their own genocide, eat and then dance!!! So, I can see why this is a joke and why it's true.

I read a really sad blog about Kurds lately. The author concluded that Kurds are genetically unable to be cynical. Everything is either wonderful or horrible but never in between, and all of that is because of trusting people too much and getting the trust betrayed. I say that's true, but when were there any alternatives? Eternally hopeful and full of optimism...not bad survival skills if you ask me...it's worked for centuries hasn't it?

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 3:49 am
Author: kassem
w

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 4:08 am
Author: dyaoko
kaaseem it is so so so so funy...ha ha ha ...

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 5:46 am
Author: kassem
w