What would my life be like?...

[Penni]

Hi all,
I am new to this, but hope that you can give me some advice.
I am English (a teacher) and my boyfriend is Kurdish (Iraqi Kurdish). At the moment we live in the UK- but I know that one day he hopes to return to Kurdistan to live. We have talked about marriage and children and we know that we want to be together, which would mean that one day I would probably have to move to Kurdistan- so my questions are... What would my life be like? Would I be/ feel safe? Would I be accepted? Could I have a good quality of life?

Please tell me your thoughts and how you would feel in my situation.

Many Thanks
Penni. xx

[dyaoko]

I think you will be paid a lot of attention , when you be in Kurdistan , and peopel will accept you.. you would never be have to dress like them or think like them to be Accepted by them.

is your bf from slemani or hewler ? slemani would be more comfortable for you...

[zarya]

It is never a good idea for girls, who are not kurdish, to be going out with kurdish men, or any middle eastern man for that matter. What I see alot happening are middle eastern boys making promises with foreign girls but really the girls are just temporary pleasure source. Some of his family members might except you, but unfortunately, because of how closed minded most kurds are, they will say things behind your back. Like, "why would he marry this foreign girl when there are so many pretty kurdish girls here." I wish you luck honey, I really do. I see nothing wrong with you two marrying and loving each other. I don't know how I will ever fall in love with kurdish boy and none live close to be and I have year of medical school left. I don't want to marry a relative, a boy for his looks or for his money. Nor do I want an arranged marriage or someone my relatives talk wonderfully about. I hope when you go back, they all love you and you have a wonderful life. But you have a better chance since he is a man. Girls have a much harder time.

[Penni]

See below

[Penni]

Thankyou both for you're replies. I hope though that Dyaoko's is closer to the mark than Zarya's! I can't believe that my boyfriends family would be so negative, although I have no hesitation in believing that there are more beautiful girls than me, I hope that they would not be so shallow.
If I were to think negatively about our situation then I would always be miserable and paranoid, and at the end of the day I do trust my boyfriend, and feel that he is being truthful about his feelings for me- and I get the impression that Kurdish people (men and women)actually take pride in being very honest. I hope I am right!
Are foreigners still advised to have security or body guards when visiting Kurdistan- or is it safe now to walk the streets alone?
Kind regards
Penni. x

P.S I bought a great book from Amazon the other day, called A thousand Sighs, by Christiane Bird. It's about her travels around Kurdistan. The descriptions of her hosts and their daily activities are wonderful, as is the history and political background she gives of the area. I would recommend it to anyone interested in Kurdish life.

[dyaoko]

penni i can tell you , in kurdish culture, Beuty of the wife is not the most important factor for the husband.
the most important is loyality , please dont enter kurdistan with negative look, think positive and you will see how kind peopel will accept you .

ofcourse there are Bad peopel among EVERY nation .

for sure Kurdistan is the safest part of Iraq, I can say Kurdistan is not a part of Iraq . it is Kurdistan .
but I wouldnt recommend going out alone at first days ... you know it is so Hot in Summer ,u always need to go out by car ...so let some time pass and you yourself [and your bf] can decide if u can go out alone .

[sorgul]

penni i can tell you , in kurdish culture, Beuty of the wife is not the most important factor for the husband.
the most important is loyality , please dont enter kurdistan with negative look, think positive and you will see how kind peopel will accept you .

ofcourse there are Bad peopel among EVERY nation .

for sure Kurdistan is the safest part of Iraq, I can say Kurdistan is not a part of Iraq . it is Kurdistan .
but I wouldnt recommend going out alone at first days ... you know it is so Hot in Summer ,u always need to go out by car ...so let some time pass and you yourself [and your bf] can decide if u can go out alone .

i wouldnt worry about safety once u get into kurdistan'..the borders are secure and they dont let any arabs in withoutttttt checking everything, so its very safe. as for the temp., it does get really hot in the afternoon..but it cools dwon once it gets dark......and medya some of the tax drvers are CHEAP they dont turn the air on!