HI, IM AM DARA FROM THE UK

[DARA]

Im in Derby, where r u?, they r so posessive, i some times dont understand him, to different cultures, even though we both are muslims.

[UE_kurdophile]

Im in Derby, where r u?, they r so posessive, i some times dont understand him, to different cultures, even though we both are muslims.

Can I ask you which are your roots (which country are your parents from) or is it too personal? or are you a European converted to islam?
if you want , i can delete this question...

[DARA]

MY PARENTS R FROM PAKISTAN, I WAS BORN BRED IN THE UK, NEVER BEEN TO MY PARENTS COUNRTY

[UE_kurdophile]

ps sorry I didn't answet to your question...I am in Italy. I am Italian, Cathoilc, so I guess that for me understanding him was even harded than for you, at least you are Muslim, ...

ps I still havent welcomed you! WELCOME to the forum Dara!

[DARA]

THANK YOU,

Maybe its easier 4 me being a muslim, we have more in common, but our backgorunds are so differentent, he was born in 1982, we are the same age, he is all phoning me, asking where I am, what i am doing, he does not like it if i stay out late, im independent, i work, drive, do my own thing, I LOVE HIM, I get the feelin he is insecure.

Your ex bf did he speak italian, english, how did u communicate?

[UE_kurdophile]

When I was his girl, I was in Uk to improve my English, we communicated in English...but actually not always we managed to communicate.

I think you got the point, he is surely insecure. Yes, I can understand it might be annoying, but on the other side probably it means he really loves you.
I agree with the reasons pointed out by Diri; as he said there are other reasons too.

I left him because I didn't accept his behaviour, I didn't accept to be considered something that belonged to him.
I am an indipendent girl, I study "international & diplomatical sciences" and in the future I am going to travel , I don't think I am an easy girl only because I am European, I was fed up with hearing Europeans are all bad ...

Of course I am not criticizing Kurds in general, as you can see I am a Kurdophile!
What i mean is: be carefull! in this forum there are many Kurdish guys who are proud to be Kurds and yet absolutely don't think girls are their objects, so if your boy does what he wants says "this is my culture, you have to accept it or it is all your fault", you should think about it twice before accepting everything...if you read some old topics, you will find some English girls who are happily married/engaged with some very special kurdish guys, but others who accept everything the guy says/does only because he belongs to another culture that they don't know. And they suffer in silence thinking it is their fault afterall.
Being racist is bad, but being a fool is worse!

I don't know your bf, I can't judge him of course, what I am saying is only : think about it very well. I see you even want to go and live there..what about doing a holiday so you can judge with your eyes and THEN decide?

I hope I was clear, i didn't mean to offend anyone. Peace & love to everyone
Biji Kurdistan !

[abdur]

I think you got the point, he is surely insecure. Yes, I can understand it might be annoying, but on the other side probably it means he really loves you.

Many people falsely assume that the possesive behaviour is a sign of true love. It's very important that the girl makes it clear from the start what kind of personal freedom-independancy (working/going out/sportclub/etc.) she wants to maintain in the relationship.

@Dara, it's true that Sulaimania is the most western city in Southern Kurdistan but there are reasons why it would be very difficult for you living there like the cultural differences, the language, the missing of ur own family/friends.. and not unimportant there are reasons why many of the kurdish youth are leaving or want to leave Southern Kurdistan (electricity, policital insecurity, jobs, civil war at the doorsteps).

[Lyn]

salaam lyn, where r u based?

Salaam Dara, I´m based in Palm Springs, CA.

[kismat]

Hi Dara, i wouldnt say all men are possessive mines lovely !! heh heh
i think you both need to understand each other thats how it will work but yeh i think culture comes into it alot he should undertand you but it will take time, depends how long has he been in the uk? xX