are kurdish men faithful?

[Piling]

To be honest, being faithful is a constant challenge, and my biggest worry is Gods wrath. I think I need at least two wives, three would be ideal.

Congratulations ! At least ONE honest man here

So poor muslim women they have to deal with only one man, or sometimes 1/2, 1/3 or 1/4 for they have to share him.

But I have to confess that being faithful is not a great challenge for me as so long as I love (and my love can last many many years). But when love is died, then, better to leave.

[talsor]

To be honest, being faithful is a constant challenge, and my biggest worry is Gods wrath. I think I need at least two wives, three would be ideal.

Congratulations ! At least ONE honest man here

So poor muslim women they have to deal with only one man, or sometimes 1/2, 1/3 or 1/4 for they have to share him.

But I have to confess that being faithful is not a great challenge for me as so long as I love (and my love can last many many years). But when love is died, then, better to leave.

so ,you have never cheated or lied in any of your relations ?

[Piling]

When I begin romance with someone I break with the former one very fastly. I don't like to travel with too much luggages.

Concerning lies, I don't tell them, but I don't tell the truth to someone who does not ask it. I mean if you break with someone, no need to tell all the cruel truth "I met another guy, and we are so fine each others, etc." if there are no questions.

In general, men never ask such things, while most of women are unwise and want to learn all the story… that is adding pepper on fresh wounds.

[talsor]

When I begin romance with someone I break with the former one very fastly. I don't like to travel with too much luggages.

Concerning lies, I don't tell them, but I don't tell the truth to someone who does not ask it. I mean if you break with someone, no need to tell all the cruel truth "I met another guy, and we are so fine each others, etc." if there are no questions.

In general, men never ask such things, while most of women are unwise and want to learn all the story… that is adding pepper on fresh wounds.

Thanks for your honesty and that is the point I was trying to make . In the west everyone always look for the next romance , even when they are in a relation which is fine as long as people are honest about it with themselves at least .When it comes to western girls I do not believe in the "ideals " of being together in sickness and health , in good times and bad times . Relationships are a from of consumerism in the west and the toaster can be changed at anytime for any reason without any consequences . Yes , we might feel a little bit guilty , but we can always live with that .

Having said all the above I do not understand why there is all this fuzz about men not being faithful .

While most women thinks that the western laws have liberated women , I think it actually liberated men more and further objectified and Degraded the status of women in the society .

[Piling]

Thanks for your honesty and that is the point I was trying to make . In the west everyone always look for the next romance , even when they are in a relation which is fine as long as people are honest about it with themselves at least .

Not exactly, even if a few people are for 'poly-love' – and I except also religious people like catholics who are against divorce – most of Westerners do not want to break with their partner, because it is always a source of trouble and pain. But it is life, and the price of love. Everybody wish that a relationship is going to work in a good way but when it is not the case, you have 2 choices :

– Staying in a quiet unhappy or unsatisfying relationship (for many reasons : religion, children, lack of money, fear, etc.).

– Breaking and seeking a better life elsewhere (many women prefer being alone than being in a bad company, while men are more inclining to flee their home in extra-relationship, or work, or alcohol, etc.).

I won't say that there is a bad or a good way. We have all our own choices to do and the most difficult is to determine which way of life is in harmony with our real nature (not social conventions, creeds, etc.).

When I hesitated between alternatives, I have always choosing the one that I could not regret even if I could fail : listening to my guts and not my fear.

When it comes to western girls I do not believe in the "ideals " of being together in sickness and health , in good times and bad times . Relationships are a from of consumerism in the west and the toaster can be changed at anytime for any reason without any consequences . Yes , we might feel a little bit guilty , but we can always live with that .

Marriage and relationship in general are based in contemporary Western conception mainly on love, so many people marry when they have a crush, make children, and some years later realize they share nothing anymore. So they decide to find another passion… It has nothing to do with illness, economy, etc. though such things can separate people. I think that the worst enemy of marriage is boredom, routine, and the sudden flash when we realize : "But what I am doing with a such man/woman ? is it life for ever ?"

In Eastern (as India, or China), romance are less important in marriages : it is more an economical & friendly association. So it could last more time, as so long as there are no much economical troubles, domestic violences, etc.

The first group have a more troubled and unstable life, but more interesting. The second have safety, stability, but can live all their life without feeling their heart beats faster…

That's a choice ? we have no choice in fact : we are educated in a certain way and for Wersterners, marrying someone without love, just for money or because 2 families are friend, is prostitution, because having sex without pleasure or without feelings is prostitution.

At the contrary, Easterners consider that sex within marriage is respectable (even if there is not much feeling nor pleasure, and it is only for material interests) while having a romance with sincere feelings but out of legal ways is prostitution.

There are 2 opposite point of views and it is impossible to conciliate them.

Having said all the above I do not understand why there is all this fuzz about men not being faithful .

Men and women are equal in faithfulness or unfaithfulness. In a liberated society or a strict one, they have the same needs. The only difference is the danger to be killed for women (or for gays) who is more frequent than for men.

While most women thinks that the western laws have liberated women , I think it actually liberated men more and further objectified and Degraded the status of women in the society .

Some say that, considering the great number of women living alone with children. But we had the same society than Kurds 50 years ago and it was not paradise for women (as it is not for Kurdish women). Now we have all tasted freedom and no one can come back from that state.

Moreover, I guess that Kurdish society will face claims from youth (both gender) who wish to know the same freedom. Not because Western proselytism, but because this kind of life is attractive for younger generations while elders are afraid.

[Anthea]

In India the people class a European marriage as putting a hot pot into a fridge as people often start a relationship or marry in the heat of passion but that sort of relationship is seen to cool down very quickly - and an Indian marriage as putting a cold pot into a warm oven as it slowly grows in love, friendship and respect

The area I live in I actually doubt many of the people marry someone they know little about - most of them seem to marry people they have known for years - lived close to - gone to college with

The shortest relationship I had lasted on and off for 7 years

[Anthea]

@ SadKurdLover

Long time no see I hope that you and your 2 lovely daughters are all alright

Take care of yourself

Please let us know how you are getting on

[SadKurdLover]

@ SadKurdLover

Long time no see I hope that you and your 2 lovely daughters are all alright

Take care of yourself

Please let us know how you are getting on

All is well thank you

[Anthea]

All is well thank you

DELIGHTED to know that all is well

Hope that EVIL UNFAITHFUL LYING man has stopped troubling you

My fear remains the same - as long as he keeps coming round with his lies he is unsettling both you and your children - you really need a relaxing few months to bond with your baby - you will NOT all the time Mr Charm is causing you upsets

All this stress could have a disastrous effect on you subconsciously - without you even realising it - you will NOT get a second chance at bonding - these first weeks are the MOST important for you both

[Jasmin]

I met an Iraqi kurd born in turkey who has been here 13 years and is in his mid thirties a month ago...really hope it's not sadkurdlover's guy!! He said he's still trying to sort his immigration status out and I am really hoping that this isn't the same guy... I don't want to say too much either as he knows where I live. Hopefully it's a coincidence but he's already lied a lot and seems like a real player.

[Anthea]

I met an Iraqi kurd born in turkey who has been here 13 years and is in his mid thirties a month ago...really hope it's not sadkurdlover's guy!! He said he's still trying to sort his immigration status out and I am really hoping that this isn't the same guy... I don't want to say too much either as he knows where I live. Hopefully it's a coincidence but he's already lied a lot and seems like a real player.

OH MY GOD I HOPE NOT

Are you in Scotland?

And if so is the man a barber?

If you answered YES to both my advice is RUN

[Jasmin]

No not in Scotland thankfully but he said he's a trained barber...can't be him then??

[Anthea]

No not in Scotland thankfully but he said he's a trained barber...can't be him then??

Very suspicious especially as sadkurdlover's Mr Charm was away from the area for a couple of weeks - we know not where - he is looking for a new job and has friends in England

Just do not let him get too close

Kurdish men all want to marry sweet Kurdish ladies the same as their mothers - they seldom marry English women - Kurdish men would not treat Kurdish women as sex objects - the girls save themselves for marriage - as do the boys in many parts of Kurdistan

[Jasmin]

Hmmm, well he's got a typical broken Londoner accent...sounds like harry enfield Stavros character lol...and I have been to his place or so he says it is!! from my experience arabs from north Africa are more likely to stay married and have kids with british or European and truly love their non muslim wives than middle easterners! they are also more innocent and not into perverse sexual practices but then that's my experience of muslim men.

[Shirko]

This guy should be on Jerry Springer